Refined Taste
by StressBakingElf
Summary: Lavellan finds himself in Val Royeaux for a wine tasting with Vivienne and Dorian- full of high class nobility he's desperately tried to avoid. He didn't tell either of them that he knows NOTHING about wine. Or that he's a lightweight. Or that he's very picky. M/M fluff humor Inquisitor/Dorian oneshot


"Now dear, wine tasting is the most Orlesian way to spend an afternoon. Enjoy the finery." Vivienne led Lavellan and Dorian through Val Royeaux's vibrant cobbled streets, eyes of the shimmering masked public on the Inquisitor as his stomach tightened with nerves.

The event wasn't something Lavellan had been invited to so much as arranged to go to by Josephine, Vivienne, and Dorian. It would be positive publicity, a cordial showing of friendship with Orlais to visit the nobility Lavellan had wooed at the Winter Palace. And- just like the grand ball, appearances and perfection were required.

Dorian seemed to view it as a date, flashing Lavellan a bright smile and linking their arms. "Finally- we're going somewhere proper together! We'll have to bring home a few of our favorites of course. I've been craving something with notes of blackberries."

Lavellan didn't have the heart to tell either of them that he knew absolutely NOTHING about wine.

It's not that the Dalish didn't drink, far from it. His clan traded with humans and occasionally made alcohol themselves but they didn't have their own vineyards or make a fuss about quality. Whatever they got was whatever they got, and even then Lavellan didn't drink much.

"Welcome." A small gathering of masked Orlesians dressed in all manner of gilded and expensive fabrics waited for them inside the winery. A man was apart from the group, holding a small board with a few papers on it. He gestured to the Inquisitor with a perfect smile. "Ah, our most esteemed guest! A pleasure, Inquisitor and company, to welcome you to Bernard Winery and Cellar, the most awarded winery in Val Royeaux, at your service."

"The pleasure is is mine," replied Lavellan automatically. Already he could see a couple nobles rearranging themselves to be close to Vivienne and prayed her presence would save him from any missteps.

"Splendid- follow me!" The storefront they were in almost looked like a café, albeit with bottles lining the walls and paintings and vases of flowers filling every available space. Baskets and display cases in front of the massive counter advertised meats and cheeses to go with outrageously priced wines, and small fruit tarts and other desserts decorated a pedestal with a bottle of white wine next to it, offering sweetness and simplicity.

It would be a lovely place to come back to, thought Lavellan. He'd enjoy quietly eating a cake without twenty piercing eyeless masks on him.

Vivienne was already the center of light and polite chatter as they made their way down a flight of stairs to an enormous cellar, barrels upon barrels stretching into the distance. Lavellan watched as she glowed as though within spotlights, ease and grace in every step as she played with words and charm like a practiced dance. He tried to emulate her and smiled as a woman came up next to him.

"Tell me Inquisitor, how is your ambassador Montilyet? All that business with the Du Parquettes, the House of Reposte, it causes much concern."

Lavellan worried he'd say the wrong thing, but tried his best. "She is quite well, thank you. We have only the best intentions, and to handle the matter with dignity."

Dorian thankfully noticed Lavellan was in need of a rescue. "My lady, did you hear what Viscount Moreau was wearing at the ball? Those scarves- to be jealous or scandalized?"

"I did not hear- I saw! Though with garishness like that, would you argue you could hear it anyway..."

Lavellan was almost relieved when the first wine sample was handed out. Elves in formal attire wordlessly presented platters and small wine glasses, working to pour and arrange and clean up any used glasses with clockwork practice and speed.

It always set his teeth on edge seeing city elves primarily as servants, and Lavellan gave his server a bright smile and purposely said, "Thank you, ser."

For a split second, the tension in the room was thick until Vivienne graciously gestured to all the elves and Bernard himself. "Many hands have crafted this experience, and many thanks are owed for this hospitality."

Bernard accepted. "Thank you, Madame de Fer. Now- this is our first wine, a light white chardonnay with notes of lemon."

Lavellan took his glass and downed it, letting the acidic lemon hit him like a punch in the face. When he resurfaced he barely managed to keep a neutral expression. Dorian sipped his glass next to him and Lavellan realized you weren't supposed to just gulp it down.

Lesson one.

He expected Dorian to rightfully say it tasted like pungent soap, but to his shock, Dorian toasted with it appreciatively. "Bright and zesty- a beautiful opener!"

Lavellan was going to lose his mind.

Sauvignon blanc, semillon, pinot grigio- all words meaningless to the Inquisitor except the last one almost made him retch with bitterness. Vivienne praised its composition and Dorian applauded the crispness. Lavellan covered his face with what he hoped was a polite gesture and swallowed hard as the whole group looked to him expectantly. "It's... good."

More stares.

The alcohol was beginning to make him feel light and he wondered how no one else was getting just as tipsy as him.

Lavellan didn't mention to anyone beforehand he was a lightweight, either.

"What I mean is I also wholeheartedly notice the unique crispness- I find myself at a verbal loss with such consumers of- artistry as yourselves." Lavellan inwardly sighed with relief as a couple people nodded and he could blend back into the crowd, squeezing Dorian's hand on instinct.

Dorian chuckled beside him and gave his hand a squeeze. "Got a sweet tooth, amatus?"

"I guess so."

They moved to blush wines next and Lavellan could cry- he obediently swirled the liquid around in his glass and pretended he smelled more aromas than just mangled grape. He tried to mimic Dorian, and most often commented on fruit flavor.

Some eyebrows were raised and Lavellan wanted to groan.

For the love of all his Dalish gods, at least he wasn't wrong! Grapes were fruit. He didn't understand where Dorian and Vivienne got strawberries, vanilla, oak, cinnamon, pears, and rain misted fields in harvest but he tried to follow, legitimately enjoying only the sweet glasses he drank.

And even then, calling them sweet was a stretch.

"And here's a truly full bodied red, a Cabernet Sauvignon from Dragon 28, a pride and joy of our winery."

God, Lavellan was DRUNK. It was like he'd drank at least a whole bottle, and on an empty stomach at that. Orlesians must've been made of tougher stuff than his clan of elves. Lavellan held his glass and grinned at Dorian, heat in his face. He put an arm around Dorian just on the edge of giggling at him. He raised his glass and already telling it was bitter, downed it.

And coughed.

Loud.

And wine spewed viciously out of his nose.

Every head turned towards Lavellan and he followed his mage instincts for the first time the entire tour-

Turning himself invisible.

Gasps filled the room and Vivienne laughed. "Dear Inquisitor, don't try to upstage this delectable drink with a show of your Knight Enchanter magic!"

Lavellan was finally free to make a horrified face and he could've sworn he saw Dorian's eyes glint with mirth at him. And that did it.

"HAAAAAA! Hahahaha!" Lavellan burst into laughter and hugged Dorian for support, coughing and almost screeching as he buried his face in Dorian's back and snorted. He turned visible again and clung to Dorian, entire body shaking as he couldn't physically stop. Dorian's form barely muffled his drunken giggling and he couldn't get words out to apologize.

Bernard tapped his papers and seemed disgruntled. "Inquisitor Lavellan, have you been drinking ALL of every glass?"

Oh.

OH.

Lavellan hadn't noticed the little spit buckets a couple elves carried or the fact that almost none of the glasses were given back completely empty.

Dorian laughed brightly. "Oh dear- he gets it from me! I'm a bad example- I don't like to waste a drop."

The situation was salvaged.

But Lavellan was drunk.

And Dorian was so close to him.

Lavellan tittered with embarrassingly high pitched laughter and all but grabbed Dorian's collar with both hands and messily smashed their mouths together with a heated face.

And Dorian- damn him- kissed enthusiastically right back. Lavellan was lost in Dorian's arms and barely heard Vivienne say, "Like Celene and her Briala- but in public."

The world swooped and Lavellan swooned, still giggling as he passed out.

Not a good day for the representation of Dalish elves.

Lavellan woke up in his own bed, something about grape juice swirling around in his head. His mouth tasted sour and he groaned, remembering how badly he'd embarrassed himself in Val Royeaux. "Oh fuck."

"Ah, you're awake!" A plate clinked on the table by his couch and Lavellan opened his eyes to see Dorian standing with a covered plate and a couple saucers and teacups. "I was hoping to surprise you- so long as you're up to it."

"I- I ruined everything." Lavellan buried his face in his hands. "And I got you tangled in my mistake- in front of-"

"Hush!" Lavellan looked at Dorian again to see him beaming at him. "That was, without a doubt, the best wine tasting I've ever been to in my life."

"I didn't ruin our date?"

"YOU were far more entertaining than the wine, amatus! Oh, and their mock mortification as we got it on right in front of them? Priceless. Vivienne has made sure no true harm has become our reputation. They'd be very bored without gossip. In fact-" Dorian gestured to the mysterious plate in front of them. "I got something for you, and she was so overjoyed at your performance she insisted on paying for it."

"My... performance?"

"Well, it was meant to be a rather politely dull wine tasting. You made it a spectacle, a news story. Every single one of them are talking about you, and basking in Vivienne's favor since she was the only one left standing."

Lavellan relaxed, a grin spreading over his face. "So everything is good?" His headache disappeared as relief flooded his body, and Dorian gave him a proud look.

"Everything is better than expected! I'll admit, I'm afraid that some of the nobility has understanding that Dalish elves all wildly dance around in the woods while getting drunk on moonshine-"

"-they're just jealous-"

"But that's far from the worst thing anyone has said of elves." Dorian nodded towards the plate in front of him. "Anyway, care to look?"

Lavellan lifted the cover and his mouth watered instantly. Fruit tarts, chocolate mousse, delicate cake, cream puffs, chocolate dipped strawberries, and cinnamon iced pasties covered the entire platter. "I- oh Dorian they're beautiful!"

"Our outing together was something I enjoyed." Dorian poured tea for both of them and gave Lavellan a smile. "I wanted something for you to enjoy too. I should've asked before dragging you to a place you didn't like-"

"Now you hush!" Lavellan sipped his tea and was pleasantly surprised at spicy vanilla notes in it- a chai blend. "You got my favorite tea too? You're spoiling me. And you did NOT drag me anywhere- it was very nice and Josephine and Vivienne have a way of simply making me appear places in Orlais without my knowledge. You know how it is."

Dorian nibbled at the light and fluffy mousse, savoring every morsel of it. Lavellan tried the fruit tart and sighed as he tasted the thin, buttery crust and the sweet cream under the mixed berries. Dorian looked at the pastry and grinned. "Notes of fruity flavor pretty strong?"

"Oh my GOD shut UP!" Lavellan playfully threw a napkin at him and laughed, heart lighter than it'd been in too long.


End file.
